Changes

I have gone through some pretty hard changes recently. I have finally realized that DJ does not want to have me in his life at all. If he truly meant what he said, he sure fooled me. So I have decided to give up on this negative part of my life and move on. Moving on from your first love is not an easy task. I am simply taking one day at a time.
I have also found I have been really quick to anger so have been trying to watch that and see what the truth is about the anger. I wish to live a happy and fulfilled life. With my new business my parents got me into, I am sitting in the vehicle to realize this dream. It does require a lot of personal growth on my part. I can not expect myself to be perfect or change completely over night. I actually have been extremely stubborn in changing myself. I knew there were things I could change but I simply did not want to! I was having myself a little young adult temper tantrum. I really felt like my world was falling apart for awhile. I even started to get back into some very bad self destructive behavior. After this past weekend I have decided I do not want to wait till I am 30 or 40 to start realizing my dreams and to live a fulfilled life, I am going to do it now. Right now I have the tools in my hand and right now is my chance. I should not throw this away because I want to stand here stomping my feet in a temper tantrum.
I am yet again finding that I am starting to out grow my friends. I do not wish to be rude, but I don't want to simply smile and bear it. To me that is being false. Somehow, I have to find that happy medium. Not sure what that is yet. If any one has any clue on how to find this happy medium, please, clue me in!!
Since I have made my decision to start back on the road of personal growth, more things have gone wrong than I can count. The only difference, I don't let these bumps dictate my life. I have decided that if I have to get out and push my car over one of those huge bumps, so be it.
As far as my birthday, which was a week and half ago, I really have a wonderful time. I decided to not wait for someone else to make my birthday wonderful and do it myself. It was well worth all the time and effort I put into getting the weekend to happen. I ended up going to Traverse City with Lindsey B. and visiting the 5 wineries there. I came home with six bottles of wine if that is any indication of how good, wonderful and beautiful it was. I took pictures but at first was sorely disappointed at how they don't do justice to the natural beauty that can be seen around the wineries. I then remembered how pictures usually don't do anything justice, so decided to look at them in a positive manner and say they are my reminders. I will always have the pictures in my head with the reminders there to help me recall them. On Sunday May 15, my actual birthday day, Lindsey W. took me to Memphis smoke and we watched a live band. Kristine came and she and I danced a little. It ended up closing at midnight so we headed off to O'Tooles and had an absolute blast there. It was funny because a kid who graduated a year before me from high school was also there celebrating his 23rd birthday too!! The fact that I went to school with this kid... So I ended up completely enjoying myself all weekend long.

My quote for today, "If you are unhappy where you are today, change so tomorrow will not be the same."