Listen...

Today was a rather quiet day. I find that lately I am not the person to start or finish a conversation but sit quietly while the rest of the people talk and tell stories to me or the people around me while I listen. This quietness seems to make people feel awkward or as if I am judging them. A reaction I was not quite expecting. I felt as though I was not listening enough and talking too much. Like needed constant validation that I was being heard. It is still important but you cannot recieve what you do not give. People are so starved of validation and to be heard that people always come and talk to me before anyone else, even when I don't know them well, yet another unexpected consequence (and yes at the moment I feel as though it is a consequence.)
I feel as though I have been bouncing between depression and recovery from this depression and back again. So many changes in my life and I find I do not like where I am at. I took a job for my parents and promised them that I would at LEAST stay through the summer and to be honest, I am dreading staying in Michigan any longer after graduation than need be. I think I will work for them over the summer, get their business in order while applying for positions that really interest me, OUTSIDE of MI. Graduating is exciting and saddening all at the same time.
Found that I still have some work to do in the relationship area. I have definately learned yet another big lesson and have changed my priorities yet again. Old friends are.... well, seriously lacking in the acting as a friend department. The new friends I have picked up this semester I think are ones that will last... at least I hope.
Debating on weather or not to join the Sorority Alum chapter here in Detroit or wait and see if I move and join the chapter there. I guess I could always join here in Detroit and then just see what is available when I move.
Going to a Baptist church today was interesting. The message was good, but definately not the closeness to Jesus and Jesus as the eucherist that the Catholic Mass teaches. Baptist, definately not me. I guess I really am Catholic through and through I just need to find a church I really mesh with. Not an easy task thats for sure. I think once school is done I will be able to reall start my church hunt.
As I get each new and final task done for school I feel myself getting more and more burnt out. I am hoping I will be able to redeem my birthday gift from my sister Jenna and parents and take a vacation in Florida visiting her.