I Just don't understand

I guess the whole dating game is about taking chances, but I don't understand.... I don't understand how I always get hurt. I wish I could make those who hurt me see how they hurt me and know how much they hurt me. I don't deserve to be treated like this!!! I just want to scream and of course this is the day when everyone is home so I can't. Maybe a drive some place will help. Then I can scream till I lose my voice.... I hate this so much, and I hate each and every one of you that has put a scar in my heart!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!! I hate you I hate you I hate you I hate you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish I could just sleep and never wake up again... an endless, dreamless sleep... I already live in the deepest blackest pit of despair... call me emotional call me a pussy call me whatever, I don't give a shit about anyone any more. Maybe if I act like a bitch people will stop hurting me. Lead a miserable life with walls all around me... better that this pit of despair I find myself in.